I'm back from a week in Georgia with Mom & Dad, Rachel, Jay and the kids and Kathy. It was a great visit. Lots of Southern food...lots of eating....put on 5 lbs. Now I'm home and feeling quite pudgy. My pants are tight and I don't want to move. Yuck. I did weigh in this morning and have been watching what I eat today. We leave for Florida for 5 days on Saturday. Just enough time to get myself back on track and get packed again. I'm going to call Mom and ask her to stock the fridge in the condo with healthy food. I don't want to put on more weight. I'd like to hold steady. I think it might be asking too much to expect myself to lose weight while in Florida.
I need to keep moving forward.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Getting Recharged
I have felt as though I have been avoiding looking at my life. I have been doing things that allow me to numb out. Sleeping in, eating, playing solitaire on my phone and staying on the computer.
Rachel mentioned yesterday that she has a feeling that I'm not doing anything that is just plain enjoyable for myself. There's always the "to do" list and things that should get done. She pictures me as not being filled up...empty. As fours, we both need creativity and beauty. She's right. I'm not doing anything for myself. Nothing just for fun. I also feel empty with my God. I'm not filled up.
Knowing this, I can look at how to fill myself back up. I'm not wanting this to be a "to do" list, but rather a springboard for ideas. I know being around family and friends is something I enjoy. I enjoy meeting new people. I am also wanting to plan dinners and get togethers again.
I am missing the joy of sharing with God. I think reading something inspirational that points back to Him would be fulfilling. I haven't picked up the Bible or The Shack in a long time. Perhaps Rachel has one of the books that Sue was telling her about that I could also read. Even the Flylady pointed back to God.
I haven't signed up for an Archiver's card class in a long time. I read about a Plainfield Park District class that was about interiors and a beginners yoga or martial arts class. I know that JJC has a jewelry metalworks class that will probably start up in the fall too.
I used to go out for breakfast or coffee by myself in the morning and plan my day or journal. I'd get up early and meet friends. Perhaps that would be a good way to start my day on occasion.
I never think to go to a store or mall and just look around for fun alone or with someone. I could even go downtown to shop. Chicago is full of stores, neighborhoods, museums, boutiques and restaurants. Hey, even walking around Target or DSW would be a stretch at this point. Then there are always the designer discount stores/malls and second hand shops to explore.
To explore and walk around Lake Geneva or St. Charles/Geneva alone or with someone. Or walk along the riverwalks in Naperville or St. Charles. Or bike along the Fox River on the riverwalk.
I don't know why, but I don't even want to think about Poised for Success. Yet, when I read about my experience going there it sounds very exciting.
Even spending time in the yard or on my glider would be fun.
I think it's time for some exploration and self-discovery.
Rachel mentioned yesterday that she has a feeling that I'm not doing anything that is just plain enjoyable for myself. There's always the "to do" list and things that should get done. She pictures me as not being filled up...empty. As fours, we both need creativity and beauty. She's right. I'm not doing anything for myself. Nothing just for fun. I also feel empty with my God. I'm not filled up.
Knowing this, I can look at how to fill myself back up. I'm not wanting this to be a "to do" list, but rather a springboard for ideas. I know being around family and friends is something I enjoy. I enjoy meeting new people. I am also wanting to plan dinners and get togethers again.
I am missing the joy of sharing with God. I think reading something inspirational that points back to Him would be fulfilling. I haven't picked up the Bible or The Shack in a long time. Perhaps Rachel has one of the books that Sue was telling her about that I could also read. Even the Flylady pointed back to God.
I haven't signed up for an Archiver's card class in a long time. I read about a Plainfield Park District class that was about interiors and a beginners yoga or martial arts class. I know that JJC has a jewelry metalworks class that will probably start up in the fall too.
I used to go out for breakfast or coffee by myself in the morning and plan my day or journal. I'd get up early and meet friends. Perhaps that would be a good way to start my day on occasion.
I never think to go to a store or mall and just look around for fun alone or with someone. I could even go downtown to shop. Chicago is full of stores, neighborhoods, museums, boutiques and restaurants. Hey, even walking around Target or DSW would be a stretch at this point. Then there are always the designer discount stores/malls and second hand shops to explore.
To explore and walk around Lake Geneva or St. Charles/Geneva alone or with someone. Or walk along the riverwalks in Naperville or St. Charles. Or bike along the Fox River on the riverwalk.
I don't know why, but I don't even want to think about Poised for Success. Yet, when I read about my experience going there it sounds very exciting.
Even spending time in the yard or on my glider would be fun.
I think it's time for some exploration and self-discovery.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Revisiting...
I've taken the time to take a look at the posts I made in January & February. They were full of progress and promise of moving forward. I was losing weight and enjoying how I was looking and feeling. If I can do that once, I can do it again. I want to remember that God is facing me, urging me forward...encouraging me to put one foot in front of the other. Even though I feel low and know I am trying to numb out something in my life...I was still able to eat well and want to end the day knowing I can take good care of myself. I wrote out some of my acknowledgements for today also. Just a small start. I look at myself so critically and harshly that I miss the treasure that I am and what I have to offer. So...baby steps...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
A Quiet Beginning
It's a Tuesday and thank goodness Robert is home from work today. As he has been able to get Jaz to the groomer and I hope will bring her to the vet this afternoon for her shot.
I am fighting a severe headache and lack of energy. I have a loss of appetite and almost feel relieved about it because of all the carbs I've been eating. These carbs have been from processed foods...high in sugar. I felt very sick last night from poor eating. I feel today is an opportunity to turn this around. I will be eating when hungry and selecting better foods today. I have grilled veggies in the fridge from the kabobs I made on Sunday. I also have cooked chicken ready to be made into chicken salad. I have taken salmon out for dinner. I haven't had salmon in quite a while, so even if today is being controlled I have food to look forward to.
Tomorrow I have eye surgery, so I won't be able to do any grocery shopping. I'm hoping I'll feel up to doing it by Friday. I do have my menu planning done for this week which will help make this easier. I will also be inputting my weight and food into fitday. I don't feel anxious or down today even though I haven't been eating well the last few months and it's showing on my body and on the scale. I don't really want to talk to anyone about my choice to turn this around until I see some results taking place. I need to slowly build my confidence back up. I've bitched and moaned about what I'm doing to myself for too long now. I don't want to hear myself think or speak about this. I just want to do it. I am at a very low point and feel terrible mentally and physically from making self-destructive choices.
Today is an opportunity. I know I can turn this around quickly.
I am fighting a severe headache and lack of energy. I have a loss of appetite and almost feel relieved about it because of all the carbs I've been eating. These carbs have been from processed foods...high in sugar. I felt very sick last night from poor eating. I feel today is an opportunity to turn this around. I will be eating when hungry and selecting better foods today. I have grilled veggies in the fridge from the kabobs I made on Sunday. I also have cooked chicken ready to be made into chicken salad. I have taken salmon out for dinner. I haven't had salmon in quite a while, so even if today is being controlled I have food to look forward to.
Tomorrow I have eye surgery, so I won't be able to do any grocery shopping. I'm hoping I'll feel up to doing it by Friday. I do have my menu planning done for this week which will help make this easier. I will also be inputting my weight and food into fitday. I don't feel anxious or down today even though I haven't been eating well the last few months and it's showing on my body and on the scale. I don't really want to talk to anyone about my choice to turn this around until I see some results taking place. I need to slowly build my confidence back up. I've bitched and moaned about what I'm doing to myself for too long now. I don't want to hear myself think or speak about this. I just want to do it. I am at a very low point and feel terrible mentally and physically from making self-destructive choices.
Today is an opportunity. I know I can turn this around quickly.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Checking In...
It's been over a month since I've blogged about anything. I've been busy with Dana's wedding plans. Now Lisa's move is coming up and I'm helping her plan & pack. I was supposed to go there today, but she needed the day to rest. I've played it very low key. I go meet Cheryl for dinner tonight and will also do some reunion planning with her too.
My weight has gone back up. I am focusing on reminding myself I am worth it. That I am worth taking good care of. It feels more empowering. I have lowered my weight goal to 117. I have already made it to that weight and want to do it again, then maintain there. I felt better about myself and was receiving compliments on losing weight. I hadn't received many compliments until I got to that weight, so I think it will be very rewarding. I am thinking that my weight range will need to be from 114-119 lbs. to maintain at 117. This is an achieveable goal for me.
I'm not going to eat a strict low carb diet. I have decided to have a calorie goal between 1200-1350 calories. I started that yesterday. It was a start in the right direction. I didn't make my workout yesterday, but I know that will get easier as the weight starts to come down and my commitment goes up. I'm not even thinking about cardio at this point. One step at a time. I do want to acknowledge myself for not letting missing my workout ruin the rest of my day. I stood strong, kept going and did well in my eating. My food intake plays about 85-90% in my weight loss, so I'm starting there. I don't feel like my workouts are a big help at this point, but I need to remember that Dick's support and encouragement keeps me on track. If nothing else I need to show up to secure my workout time slot, I like 12:30.
I have felt so out of control with the eating that it will be a relief to start eating better foods. I also look forward to feeling better in my clothes.
My weight has gone back up. I am focusing on reminding myself I am worth it. That I am worth taking good care of. It feels more empowering. I have lowered my weight goal to 117. I have already made it to that weight and want to do it again, then maintain there. I felt better about myself and was receiving compliments on losing weight. I hadn't received many compliments until I got to that weight, so I think it will be very rewarding. I am thinking that my weight range will need to be from 114-119 lbs. to maintain at 117. This is an achieveable goal for me.
I'm not going to eat a strict low carb diet. I have decided to have a calorie goal between 1200-1350 calories. I started that yesterday. It was a start in the right direction. I didn't make my workout yesterday, but I know that will get easier as the weight starts to come down and my commitment goes up. I'm not even thinking about cardio at this point. One step at a time. I do want to acknowledge myself for not letting missing my workout ruin the rest of my day. I stood strong, kept going and did well in my eating. My food intake plays about 85-90% in my weight loss, so I'm starting there. I don't feel like my workouts are a big help at this point, but I need to remember that Dick's support and encouragement keeps me on track. If nothing else I need to show up to secure my workout time slot, I like 12:30.
I have felt so out of control with the eating that it will be a relief to start eating better foods. I also look forward to feeling better in my clothes.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A New Start
I'm back on the bandwagon. After what feels like a long time of eating pretty much whatever I wanted & missing workouts, I have put 6 lbs. back on. I visited with my good friend Kathi and talked about what we both wanted to achieve moving forward. It was a great visit. Thanks Kathi. I love you too! I think we both came away with new insight. I knew what "things" I needed to do to bring the weight down. But what I was able to talk through was how to solve some of the situations that trip me up.
One area in particular was lunches. I found that I don't prepare for lunch early enough so that when I get hungry I can eat right away. The other thing Kathi brought up was that it really didn't take that long to prepare some of these things and why wouldn't I want to do this for myself. When I first get fresh veggies home I need to plan to eat them within the first 2-3 days. Yes, that requires a plan and prep work. So, this morning I made my taragon chicken salad to take with me to the gym for lunch.
My goal is to keep my calories between 1200-1250. Although yesterday I had 1306 calories and still lost weight. So, if I go up to 1300 I'm not going to get twinked out. I think this broader range will enable me to include some very fun food and still lose weight. My first goal is 119. I have absolutely no deadline on my weight loss. Every time I do that I feel a sense of failure coming on and then eat because of it. I need this to be more of a lifestyle change.
One of the biggest things I needed to address was my need for accountability. I will be texting Kathi every day with my morning's weight and the total calories from the day before. I will also text her on my way to the gym for my workouts. I know when I go into hiding I'm eating. I need to keep up progress out in the open, being talked about.
Rachel will begin accountability with me on Friday mornings to ensure she's making her menu plans for the week. I'm also going to have my plan ready to ensure I'm doing the same thing.
Here's to moving forward!
One area in particular was lunches. I found that I don't prepare for lunch early enough so that when I get hungry I can eat right away. The other thing Kathi brought up was that it really didn't take that long to prepare some of these things and why wouldn't I want to do this for myself. When I first get fresh veggies home I need to plan to eat them within the first 2-3 days. Yes, that requires a plan and prep work. So, this morning I made my taragon chicken salad to take with me to the gym for lunch.
My goal is to keep my calories between 1200-1250. Although yesterday I had 1306 calories and still lost weight. So, if I go up to 1300 I'm not going to get twinked out. I think this broader range will enable me to include some very fun food and still lose weight. My first goal is 119. I have absolutely no deadline on my weight loss. Every time I do that I feel a sense of failure coming on and then eat because of it. I need this to be more of a lifestyle change.
One of the biggest things I needed to address was my need for accountability. I will be texting Kathi every day with my morning's weight and the total calories from the day before. I will also text her on my way to the gym for my workouts. I know when I go into hiding I'm eating. I need to keep up progress out in the open, being talked about.
Rachel will begin accountability with me on Friday mornings to ensure she's making her menu plans for the week. I'm also going to have my plan ready to ensure I'm doing the same thing.
Here's to moving forward!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wardrobe Building
Last Saturday I met with Lynn at Nordstroms. She had everything set up for me and kept bringing armfuls of clothes for me to try on. She's very good at her job. I went from an empty closet to one that has choices and color. The capris and skirt I'm not certain about yet. I have a return to make today of a cardigan and pair of capris that are a duplicate for me. I have been writing about what I have in my closet and what new things are coming in to be sure the new clothes fit into the color schemes I already have. I really enjoy doing that. I've also written out my dress wardrobe, my black and brown color capsules. I have a lot more clothing in the black matching outfits, but brown is my color palette. I tried to buy tops that would mostly go with brown and then some to match black to finish out outfits that weren't complete. I'm pleased with the result.
After the capris are decided on (I'm going to put them on for Robert and see which one's he likes too, I'm having problems deciding which look better on me) I'm going to need to look at shoes and sandals for the summer next. I want to try to stay with flats, 1" heels and 2" heels that way they'll be able to work with the pants lengths I have in my closet now. Not the easiest things to do, but it really saves on the number of pants and shoes you need to own. It's definitely worth the effort.
To get the color capsules to work you need to be able to match your 3 chosen colors in both bottoms and tops. It is much easier to find black and white tops and bottoms than it is to find brown or tan. I thought I'd add french blue to go with the brown scheme, I found a top but no matching pants, capris or anything for that matter. So, what's the catch here? Do you have to buy mix and match geranimals to get this to work?
I think I'll be easing into the brown, beige and french blue color palette over time and see if I can get it to work. The process continues...
After the capris are decided on (I'm going to put them on for Robert and see which one's he likes too, I'm having problems deciding which look better on me) I'm going to need to look at shoes and sandals for the summer next. I want to try to stay with flats, 1" heels and 2" heels that way they'll be able to work with the pants lengths I have in my closet now. Not the easiest things to do, but it really saves on the number of pants and shoes you need to own. It's definitely worth the effort.
To get the color capsules to work you need to be able to match your 3 chosen colors in both bottoms and tops. It is much easier to find black and white tops and bottoms than it is to find brown or tan. I thought I'd add french blue to go with the brown scheme, I found a top but no matching pants, capris or anything for that matter. So, what's the catch here? Do you have to buy mix and match geranimals to get this to work?
I think I'll be easing into the brown, beige and french blue color palette over time and see if I can get it to work. The process continues...
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Plan
I'm falling behind due to these allergies. I need to look at what needs to be done, so I can come up with a plan on how to keep moving forward. Robert could help this weekend perhaps.
-Budget withdrawal for next week
-Bank: budget envelopes
-Max's birthday card & gift: over to their house
-Groceries: WalMart/pharmacy, Trader Joe's, possibly Whole Foods
-CostCo: next week, Tuesday maybe? (check with Kathi)
-Budget
It looks like the areas to address are budget/money and groceries to fill up the fridge. The groceries also allow me to continue eating well, so this is critical.
Plan:
-Max's card/gift: Robert can drop off tomorrow morning
-Bank: Robert can go on his way home from the gym
-Budget: Saturday or Sunday
-Groceries: WalMart/pharmacy (meds before Sun)
This gives me a starting place. I'll move forward from here. Chow!
-Budget withdrawal for next week
-Bank: budget envelopes
-Max's birthday card & gift: over to their house
-Groceries: WalMart/pharmacy, Trader Joe's, possibly Whole Foods
-CostCo: next week, Tuesday maybe? (check with Kathi)
-Budget
It looks like the areas to address are budget/money and groceries to fill up the fridge. The groceries also allow me to continue eating well, so this is critical.
Plan:
-Max's card/gift: Robert can drop off tomorrow morning
-Bank: Robert can go on his way home from the gym
-Budget: Saturday or Sunday
-Groceries: WalMart/pharmacy (meds before Sun)
This gives me a starting place. I'll move forward from here. Chow!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Great Clothes On A Budget
I feel so inspired this morning. And that's on a gloomy day with a migraine...so it had to be good. I found another learning tool from my fashion ebook series, this one was a teleseminar on great clothes at budget prices. So I ordered it. It wasn't a long read, but it was really interesting. It also has a taped version of the seminar that I can download onto my iPod. I truly learned new information on setting up a budget for clothing, what quality category and store category would be best to purchase different clothing & accessories. Fascinating. I'm much clearer about how to get the best clothing for the best price and rate it according to how often this item will be worn.
The department stores were rated at the highest cost, unless the products were purchased on sale. Which makes me think about how I shop. I use a personal shopper at Nordstroms. Now I know she tries to pull sale items for me and also work within my budget range. But I'm still paying the most for my clothing across the board going this way. I knew this on some level, but now I know some alternative places to shop. It's actually doing the legwork and trusting my own judgment as to how things feel and look on me. That's a little scary.
She strongly suggested shopping from a list, which I have already made. However, I also have an appointment with Lynn at Nordstroms on Saturday to shop for my spring/summer wardrobe, a white top for the wedding and possibly a swimsuit. I have to try mine on today. Argh... Since I have nothing to work with I just want to have Lynn put it together and then buy it. All ready to go. I'll have to stay very close to my list and budget while shopping with her.
Probably the best place to start is to determine my budget and what items are investments and which ones aren't. Then how much I can spend between clothing and accessories. Then what percentage of that can go towards trendier items to update my wardrobe.
Well, I'm off to do just that!
The department stores were rated at the highest cost, unless the products were purchased on sale. Which makes me think about how I shop. I use a personal shopper at Nordstroms. Now I know she tries to pull sale items for me and also work within my budget range. But I'm still paying the most for my clothing across the board going this way. I knew this on some level, but now I know some alternative places to shop. It's actually doing the legwork and trusting my own judgment as to how things feel and look on me. That's a little scary.
She strongly suggested shopping from a list, which I have already made. However, I also have an appointment with Lynn at Nordstroms on Saturday to shop for my spring/summer wardrobe, a white top for the wedding and possibly a swimsuit. I have to try mine on today. Argh... Since I have nothing to work with I just want to have Lynn put it together and then buy it. All ready to go. I'll have to stay very close to my list and budget while shopping with her.
Probably the best place to start is to determine my budget and what items are investments and which ones aren't. Then how much I can spend between clothing and accessories. Then what percentage of that can go towards trendier items to update my wardrobe.
Well, I'm off to do just that!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Looking For The Good Things
It has been a rough day. I've been fighting migraines this week. I had one on Tuesday and now again today. I'm sure it's allergy related due to the weather changes this week. I feel a bit down because of it. I don't feel like I'm moving ahead. So I'm going to look for the good things that happened today.
Jasmine has stayed close to me all day, it's as if she knows I could use it. I've been able to stay on my new lifestyle diet. I will end the day at 1219 calories. I enjoyed an cinnamon raisin english muffin at lunch with cheesy eggs, which was delicious and very filling. I talked to my sister Rachel for quite a long time this afternoon. We talked about the Twilight series and have plans to watch the movie together next Friday night. I think I'm going to go ahead and buy the movie. I'm also going to let my family know that I would love to have the books as a gift idea. I looked at my recipes and made a list of dinners that I feel would be low carb and within the 300 calorie range. It felt good to have a page full of dinner options. I even found a crustless quiche recipe that I had copied but never tried. I thought that sounded good. I was blessed that Robert had plans all day today so I didn't have to try to face the tv and noise. I'm making hamburgers on the grill for dinner with petite green beans. I may try to saute the green beans in olive oil and balsamic vinegrette. Now that my girlfriend Kathi is probably done with her workout, I'm going to text and see how she's doing today.
So, all in all, it's still been a very good day. I just needed to stop and look.
Jasmine has stayed close to me all day, it's as if she knows I could use it. I've been able to stay on my new lifestyle diet. I will end the day at 1219 calories. I enjoyed an cinnamon raisin english muffin at lunch with cheesy eggs, which was delicious and very filling. I talked to my sister Rachel for quite a long time this afternoon. We talked about the Twilight series and have plans to watch the movie together next Friday night. I think I'm going to go ahead and buy the movie. I'm also going to let my family know that I would love to have the books as a gift idea. I looked at my recipes and made a list of dinners that I feel would be low carb and within the 300 calorie range. It felt good to have a page full of dinner options. I even found a crustless quiche recipe that I had copied but never tried. I thought that sounded good. I was blessed that Robert had plans all day today so I didn't have to try to face the tv and noise. I'm making hamburgers on the grill for dinner with petite green beans. I may try to saute the green beans in olive oil and balsamic vinegrette. Now that my girlfriend Kathi is probably done with her workout, I'm going to text and see how she's doing today.
So, all in all, it's still been a very good day. I just needed to stop and look.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Moving Outside of the Box
After following what has been a very restrictive diet for the past 6 years. With dramatic highs and lows, I am now going to put together a lifestyle diet. I'll be keeping my calories at 1200 for the day. I'm a little nervous about this because I don't equate this with attaining weight loss. I am in the process of putting this plan together. I will leave my breakfast alone at this point. I don't seem to have a problem there and I'm at 330 calories. That includes my full cup of 2% milk for the day and I quite often only have 2 cups of coffee.
I've focused on lunch. I want to keep around 300 calories. I've come up with 11 different options which I'm happy about. I need to focus on stocking the pantry and refrigerator with the food I need to back this up. The thing that I'm a little concerned about at this point is the number of different places I need to go to get the groceries, and the whole point is to be prepared. No more one stop shopping, I see this as a potential snafu. I've got Walmart, Caputos, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Costco and Sam's on my list. I'm hoping I can eliminate Whole Foods and find what I need at Caputos. Oh, and Jewel, where I get my salmon.
My next focus will be dinner. I want to keep around 400 calories for the meal. My guess is that I'll be looking at protein, veggies and salads. I'll be focusing on fish, chicken and a little red meat.
I'm back to menu planning and getting the food I need in the house so I can be prepared. I'm also going to pick up the food planning diary at Barnes and Noble.
I've focused on lunch. I want to keep around 300 calories. I've come up with 11 different options which I'm happy about. I need to focus on stocking the pantry and refrigerator with the food I need to back this up. The thing that I'm a little concerned about at this point is the number of different places I need to go to get the groceries, and the whole point is to be prepared. No more one stop shopping, I see this as a potential snafu. I've got Walmart, Caputos, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Costco and Sam's on my list. I'm hoping I can eliminate Whole Foods and find what I need at Caputos. Oh, and Jewel, where I get my salmon.
My next focus will be dinner. I want to keep around 400 calories for the meal. My guess is that I'll be looking at protein, veggies and salads. I'll be focusing on fish, chicken and a little red meat.
I'm back to menu planning and getting the food I need in the house so I can be prepared. I'm also going to pick up the food planning diary at Barnes and Noble.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Makeover!
Yesterday was busy and fun! I went with all 3 sisters to the Jewelry Trade Show. The Spring & Fall shows have a wider range of products and more people there. I was very clear that I was only going to buy what I loved. I found a great oblong green/brown scarf and Chanel brown sunglasses.
We all headed to Oak Brook after that to go for lunch. Rachel rode with me. She and I decided to go look at make up at MAC after lunch...which by this time was about 3:00 pm. We were there until 7:00 pm. I had a complete makeover and Rachel had her eyes done. Finally I have that old, crap makeup replaced. What a hodge podge of stuff. I was shown a daytime look and an evening look for the wedding. Now I'm set.
This morning was my facial and microdermabrasion appointment with Diane. So my face & neck are cleansed and fresh. What a mess that made out of my hair. I was red faced and wild looking the rest of the day! I might have scared people...but I just couldn't care I had things to do today.
So, I headed over to Macy's to make a return. Between mine and Mom's gift cards I was able to buy two white tops (hoping to go with that black/white skirt), black BCGC flats, Donna Karen pantyhose, a pair of Lauren pearl earrings and a MAC eyeshadow brush. The great thing is I still have money on my gift card! Now that's shopping!
Tomorrow I'm meeting up with Lyn at Nordstroms to look for the black evening dress for the wedding. I already have shoes and earrings. This is going to have to be a very versatile dress. I still don't feel like I've nailed down the white top I need to go with that skirt for the shower, so I'll probably look for that again too. I can't believe the shower is next weekend. The time is flying by!
I haven't even begun to look at my spring/summer wardrobe yet. I'd like to put together a clothing capsule to take on vacation. Robert left information out on the business conference in Las Vegas in July. I'm not sure we can swing that too. I guess we'll have to see how it goes. I don't even have a bathing suit that fits. Ugh. I need to get my eating, cardio and workouts down tight for this summer's events!
We all headed to Oak Brook after that to go for lunch. Rachel rode with me. She and I decided to go look at make up at MAC after lunch...which by this time was about 3:00 pm. We were there until 7:00 pm. I had a complete makeover and Rachel had her eyes done. Finally I have that old, crap makeup replaced. What a hodge podge of stuff. I was shown a daytime look and an evening look for the wedding. Now I'm set.
This morning was my facial and microdermabrasion appointment with Diane. So my face & neck are cleansed and fresh. What a mess that made out of my hair. I was red faced and wild looking the rest of the day! I might have scared people...but I just couldn't care I had things to do today.
So, I headed over to Macy's to make a return. Between mine and Mom's gift cards I was able to buy two white tops (hoping to go with that black/white skirt), black BCGC flats, Donna Karen pantyhose, a pair of Lauren pearl earrings and a MAC eyeshadow brush. The great thing is I still have money on my gift card! Now that's shopping!
Tomorrow I'm meeting up with Lyn at Nordstroms to look for the black evening dress for the wedding. I already have shoes and earrings. This is going to have to be a very versatile dress. I still don't feel like I've nailed down the white top I need to go with that skirt for the shower, so I'll probably look for that again too. I can't believe the shower is next weekend. The time is flying by!
I haven't even begun to look at my spring/summer wardrobe yet. I'd like to put together a clothing capsule to take on vacation. Robert left information out on the business conference in Las Vegas in July. I'm not sure we can swing that too. I guess we'll have to see how it goes. I don't even have a bathing suit that fits. Ugh. I need to get my eating, cardio and workouts down tight for this summer's events!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Spring/Summer Wardrobe
Yeah! A new season...and that means a wardrobe change! I ordered MSP through the spring season just to complete my profile wardrobe binder. Now I just need the printer hooked up to the router so I can make copies of the information. I have the catagories of clothes written out already. I just have to start trying things on to see what I can keep and what needs to be purchased. I want to do this early before the choices and sizes are gone.
I hope I can find good short sleeved t-shirts this year. Last year was a disaster in the t-shirt department. I also need to get back into shorts. I'm tired of wearing capris all summer long because I don't want to show my legs. A good tan will help too.
I've decided my basic colors for the spring/summer season are black, khaki and olive. I don't really know if olive is a good choice as a basic color, but I'm going to try it out and see. I can always change it later. I love this stuff!
I hope I can find good short sleeved t-shirts this year. Last year was a disaster in the t-shirt department. I also need to get back into shorts. I'm tired of wearing capris all summer long because I don't want to show my legs. A good tan will help too.
I've decided my basic colors for the spring/summer season are black, khaki and olive. I don't really know if olive is a good choice as a basic color, but I'm going to try it out and see. I can always change it later. I love this stuff!
Resolve...
I am frustrated with myself. I have taken myself out of the game, having done 2 very good days. Now that Derek is out I just keep getting worse as the weekend progresses. I have started to think about my spring/summer clothes, realizing some of the clothes are going to be too big. But concerned as I'm heading up the scale right now with summer coming. I think I may need to get an underwear pic taken as my bathing suit is going to be too big. Good problem I guess. Not looking forward to trying to find a new one.
I am back at the same 15 lbs to lose that I was when I started on December 31. What does that tell me? I'm going down and back up again. I can do this. I've done it before. However, I need to be losing consistently and that area has been really lacking since the first of March. The first of March was Derek's first visit of the year...and I've never recovered. Now it's the first of April, Derek is back out and I'm still not moving forward. Maybe Dick was right, start on Monday if I don't think I can make it through the weekend. It wasn't exactly my best week to start. Regardless, I am going to have to deal with Derek's visit at other times.
I need to recommit to my workouts, cardio and food plan. I need to be continuing on my countdown. The wedding will be here in about 8 weeks...I still have time to get the weight down farther. I need to make my first goal of 114 lbs. Easter is next weekend and should be no problem. I'm having it here and I'm serving turkey. I'm going to ask Mom & Kathy to bring healthier food too.
I'm thinking of a 14 day run starting Monday. I can realistically commit to 4 days of cardio. I can do it on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday. Anything over that is bonus. My 1000 calorie food plan will be:
Breakfast: Myoplex, lite yogurt
Lunch: Tuna salad, mozzerella cheesestick
Snack: Myoplex
Dinner: Blackened orange roughy, broccoli or green beans
Snack: 1/2 South Beach meal bar
Coffee: 1 c. 2% milk
That covers it. I start on Monday.
I am back at the same 15 lbs to lose that I was when I started on December 31. What does that tell me? I'm going down and back up again. I can do this. I've done it before. However, I need to be losing consistently and that area has been really lacking since the first of March. The first of March was Derek's first visit of the year...and I've never recovered. Now it's the first of April, Derek is back out and I'm still not moving forward. Maybe Dick was right, start on Monday if I don't think I can make it through the weekend. It wasn't exactly my best week to start. Regardless, I am going to have to deal with Derek's visit at other times.
I need to recommit to my workouts, cardio and food plan. I need to be continuing on my countdown. The wedding will be here in about 8 weeks...I still have time to get the weight down farther. I need to make my first goal of 114 lbs. Easter is next weekend and should be no problem. I'm having it here and I'm serving turkey. I'm going to ask Mom & Kathy to bring healthier food too.
I'm thinking of a 14 day run starting Monday. I can realistically commit to 4 days of cardio. I can do it on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday. Anything over that is bonus. My 1000 calorie food plan will be:
Breakfast: Myoplex, lite yogurt
Lunch: Tuna salad, mozzerella cheesestick
Snack: Myoplex
Dinner: Blackened orange roughy, broccoli or green beans
Snack: 1/2 South Beach meal bar
Coffee: 1 c. 2% milk
That covers it. I start on Monday.
Friday, March 20, 2009
An Eye Opener
I am struggling a bit to change my way of thinking this morning. I looked up my basal metabolic rate (metabolism) and found it to be 1244. With Kathi's help, I found out I need to burn 250 calories a day to lose a pound a week. My current 20 min. cardio on the treadmill burns about 100 calories and I'd lose a pound in 10 days.
If I want to speed things up I really need to increase my activity. I can't go lower than my 1000 calories or body will go into starvation mode. The positive side of this: I have options & can ease into it. The negative side: I'm feeling some self-pity. I don't like cardio and this is where I need to focus my increased effort if I want to see change faster. Part of me wants to say "Why does this have to be so hard"? I know I've just come off of two weeks of not eating well. So, the scale is up. But I need to remember that a few good days under my belt will make a huge difference.
I am going to increase my cardio to 30 mins. and increase my heart rate by 2. Then I'll see what kind of difference that makes in my calories burned.
I need to add additional activity. Whether that's everyday or a few days a week. That's where I want to be more creative. I don't love doing the cardio at the gym on the treadmill, but it's an easy choice and weather doesn't effect the work out. I can go for a walk after dinner in the evenings or a bike ride. What really interests me is bike riding on the prairie path. Kathi reminded me that it could still be a choice even though I'm not near the path. I could even go with someone, although I do love going alone too. I'm a little leary about being on the path alone. I never really had that when I was biking before. I have heard stories about rape on the path, and it makes wearing headphones more dangerous because you don't know what's going on around you.
My bike is in good shape, except I don't like the ride of the tires. They've warped from sitting. I don't have a bike rack and I think I'm missing the key to the bike lock. I don't have a pack to put my food in. Even if I can get into riding around the neighborhood, that will be a start. I'd better start researching the southern portion of the prairie path to see if I can find a better location to start from than Wheaton. Parking is always an issue. Here I go trying to open this door again!
If I want to speed things up I really need to increase my activity. I can't go lower than my 1000 calories or body will go into starvation mode. The positive side of this: I have options & can ease into it. The negative side: I'm feeling some self-pity. I don't like cardio and this is where I need to focus my increased effort if I want to see change faster. Part of me wants to say "Why does this have to be so hard"? I know I've just come off of two weeks of not eating well. So, the scale is up. But I need to remember that a few good days under my belt will make a huge difference.
I am going to increase my cardio to 30 mins. and increase my heart rate by 2. Then I'll see what kind of difference that makes in my calories burned.
I need to add additional activity. Whether that's everyday or a few days a week. That's where I want to be more creative. I don't love doing the cardio at the gym on the treadmill, but it's an easy choice and weather doesn't effect the work out. I can go for a walk after dinner in the evenings or a bike ride. What really interests me is bike riding on the prairie path. Kathi reminded me that it could still be a choice even though I'm not near the path. I could even go with someone, although I do love going alone too. I'm a little leary about being on the path alone. I never really had that when I was biking before. I have heard stories about rape on the path, and it makes wearing headphones more dangerous because you don't know what's going on around you.
My bike is in good shape, except I don't like the ride of the tires. They've warped from sitting. I don't have a bike rack and I think I'm missing the key to the bike lock. I don't have a pack to put my food in. Even if I can get into riding around the neighborhood, that will be a start. I'd better start researching the southern portion of the prairie path to see if I can find a better location to start from than Wheaton. Parking is always an issue. Here I go trying to open this door again!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Countdown: Week 11
Yesterday wasn't a good day starting out Week 11. I did well all day, then ate 3 small bags of raspberry shortbread cookies that I found in Robert's stash. I was on the hunt looking for something sweet to eat...and I guess you could say I was successful. :(
Today is a new day. I've decided to make cheesy eggs for dinner tonight and see how I do this evening. Maybe that will feel more substantial. I'm at 119 1/2 lbs. today and my plan is to get down to 117 again as soon as possible. Then I need to make the push to 114/115.
I'm reminding myself not to be discouraged because I planned to have the cheat on Saturday night with the Walters, knowing full well that I would need to work this week to get it back off. So, there is no reason to be depressed (that's what I'm wanting to do). Just get back on course and get this weight off!
Today is a new day. I've decided to make cheesy eggs for dinner tonight and see how I do this evening. Maybe that will feel more substantial. I'm at 119 1/2 lbs. today and my plan is to get down to 117 again as soon as possible. Then I need to make the push to 114/115.
I'm reminding myself not to be discouraged because I planned to have the cheat on Saturday night with the Walters, knowing full well that I would need to work this week to get it back off. So, there is no reason to be depressed (that's what I'm wanting to do). Just get back on course and get this weight off!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Pressing Restart Again
Last night was a wonderful evening out with Todd and Nicole. Meson Sabika for spanish tapas, then back to the house for yulelog cake and french pastries. I went all out, there was no holding me back from the meal or desserts. It was very nice to hear both Todd and Nicole comment on how I've lost weight and am looking good.
Today I find myself 2 3/4 lbs. up in weight. It will probably take me another week to get this off. I had finally gotten the extra weight off from last weekend when Derek was out. However, I don't feel any regret. I really enjoyed and celebrated being with friends. This was the first invitation I've made since Derek's graduation party. We've usually thrown a birthday party that lasted about 2 hours with family. It was empowering to have a couple of friends over. I'd like to begin doing this a little more often.
I'm back on my food plan today, although I did want to see if there were any m&m cookies left out in the garage. I didn't actually check and will stay on plan the rest of the day.
Just as a note, Friday was girl's night at Rachel's. Rachel and Kathy both commented on good I was looking. Rachel mentioned that she was inspired by how I'm looking.
I have had two compliments from people I don't know about how I've been looking up until this point. It is rewarding and inspires me to continue to lose the rest of the weight now that it is becoming more visible. I am continually encouraged by Kathi, who is my rock. She has been at my side throughout the weight loss and there's still more to take off. Thank you Kathi!
Today I find myself 2 3/4 lbs. up in weight. It will probably take me another week to get this off. I had finally gotten the extra weight off from last weekend when Derek was out. However, I don't feel any regret. I really enjoyed and celebrated being with friends. This was the first invitation I've made since Derek's graduation party. We've usually thrown a birthday party that lasted about 2 hours with family. It was empowering to have a couple of friends over. I'd like to begin doing this a little more often.
I'm back on my food plan today, although I did want to see if there were any m&m cookies left out in the garage. I didn't actually check and will stay on plan the rest of the day.
Just as a note, Friday was girl's night at Rachel's. Rachel and Kathy both commented on good I was looking. Rachel mentioned that she was inspired by how I'm looking.
I have had two compliments from people I don't know about how I've been looking up until this point. It is rewarding and inspires me to continue to lose the rest of the weight now that it is becoming more visible. I am continually encouraged by Kathi, who is my rock. She has been at my side throughout the weight loss and there's still more to take off. Thank you Kathi!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Soul Talk
I met with Sue yesterday. I told Sue that my music hasn't seemed like it's filling me up as much now. It's as though I'm used to the songs and they're just playing in the background. I feel a little out of touch with God. I know He hasn't gone anywhere and that life has just seemed to be going along. I'm not reading the Bible and haven't picked up the Shack to reread it.
I'm at kind of a stand still. Sue quoted a verse that loosely said sometimes it's not in the past but what's coming that's new. God knows when to interject something new to help us not get caught up in monotony or routine. I now have curiosity around this. It is an exciting question. Where will I find God that will be new? My meeting with Sue has helped to remind me that God is here and now.
My number one commitment for 2009 is love. Love for and from my God, for family and friends, acquaintances and also those I haven't met yet. The excitement is where the love will be evident...in the very simplest of things.
I also spoke to Sue about having more soul talks in my life. But I felt it was too early for me to delve into the book Soul Talk. I set that book aside because of how raw it is. I'm not quite ready for that yet.
I am wanting love. From the love that comes from my life I will strengthen my faith and hope. I'll also be able to share that with others.
I'm at kind of a stand still. Sue quoted a verse that loosely said sometimes it's not in the past but what's coming that's new. God knows when to interject something new to help us not get caught up in monotony or routine. I now have curiosity around this. It is an exciting question. Where will I find God that will be new? My meeting with Sue has helped to remind me that God is here and now.
My number one commitment for 2009 is love. Love for and from my God, for family and friends, acquaintances and also those I haven't met yet. The excitement is where the love will be evident...in the very simplest of things.
I also spoke to Sue about having more soul talks in my life. But I felt it was too early for me to delve into the book Soul Talk. I set that book aside because of how raw it is. I'm not quite ready for that yet.
I am wanting love. From the love that comes from my life I will strengthen my faith and hope. I'll also be able to share that with others.
My Progress In Week 12
I didn't have a great start coming into Week 12. Monday being my weigh in day...the start of my week. I had come off of a bad weekend. I ate off program Friday through Sunday. I somehow give myself permission to eat whatever I want when Derek is out. Having no meals planned, we went out to eat for almost every meal. Next month when Derek visits, I have already planned meals to make and have in the house for the entire weekend. A much better plan.
I gained 5 lbs. in those 3 days. It's Thursday and I still have a little less than a lb. to go. Then I will be back where I was before the weekend blow out. This equals a wasted week, putting on and taking off that extra weight! I will be happy with any weight loss I show this coming Monday. I've been holding the diet tight since Monday so I'm confident there will be a loss.
The work outs and cardio have also suffered this week. Since last Tuesday I've been dealing with different sorts of stomach problems. Today I ran for the Mylanta, now that everything's handled, I just have to kick this headache and the cramps & stomach churning that is the aftermath of Mylanta. I hope to feel like myself by this evening. I've got broccoli back in the house and Fiber Blend. Now to get back into the routine.
I gained 5 lbs. in those 3 days. It's Thursday and I still have a little less than a lb. to go. Then I will be back where I was before the weekend blow out. This equals a wasted week, putting on and taking off that extra weight! I will be happy with any weight loss I show this coming Monday. I've been holding the diet tight since Monday so I'm confident there will be a loss.
The work outs and cardio have also suffered this week. Since last Tuesday I've been dealing with different sorts of stomach problems. Today I ran for the Mylanta, now that everything's handled, I just have to kick this headache and the cramps & stomach churning that is the aftermath of Mylanta. I hope to feel like myself by this evening. I've got broccoli back in the house and Fiber Blend. Now to get back into the routine.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Week 13 of the Countdown
Mondays begin the new week for the countdown...and here we are. I'm beginning Week 13 and am pleased with my weight this morning. I came in at 118 3/4 lbs., which is down 1 1/4 lbs. from last Monday.
Here's to another good week!
Here's to another good week!
Twilight
I'm excited to start to read Twilight by Stephenie Meyers. It's part of a vampire series that has 4 books to the series right now. It looks nice and long!
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Revisiting Commitments
I have the sense that I'm just going along. I noticed today that I'm just listening to my Christian music, but I'm not being moved by it. It's like wearing colored glasses that don't let me look clearly at what is going on around me. A bit of a disconnect from "out there", except for my weight, food, work outs and cardio. I haven't felt this way all week, just this weekend. I've had a lot of alone time, perhaps too much.
I have had no desire to do the chapter "Momentum" in CYL. However, I do keep my commitment notes in there, so I pulled it out. The commitments I laid out for this year do remind me of what I'd like to put my focus on.
1. Coming from a place of love in my relationships.
-I would like to get back to learning about God's love in my life. I see Sue next week, that is
always a pleasure and learning experience. Returning to reading in God's Word and/or The Shack also sounds refreshing.
-I would like to focus on loving myself 1) through grace and forgiveness, 2) remembering that I am not perfect and 3) also not comparing myself, rather accepting myself just as I am.
-I would also like to look at getting together with Mom & Dad, Rachel and Kathy soon.
-I reached out yesterday to Janine at the gym. I don't know where this may lead, but I feel
good about it.
Well, I'm getting tired. I think this will be enough for now. As this is my number one commitment. I'd just like to focus on this one along with my weight loss.
I have had no desire to do the chapter "Momentum" in CYL. However, I do keep my commitment notes in there, so I pulled it out. The commitments I laid out for this year do remind me of what I'd like to put my focus on.
1. Coming from a place of love in my relationships.
-I would like to get back to learning about God's love in my life. I see Sue next week, that is
always a pleasure and learning experience. Returning to reading in God's Word and/or The Shack also sounds refreshing.
-I would like to focus on loving myself 1) through grace and forgiveness, 2) remembering that I am not perfect and 3) also not comparing myself, rather accepting myself just as I am.
-I would also like to look at getting together with Mom & Dad, Rachel and Kathy soon.
-I reached out yesterday to Janine at the gym. I don't know where this may lead, but I feel
good about it.
Well, I'm getting tired. I think this will be enough for now. As this is my number one commitment. I'd just like to focus on this one along with my weight loss.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Reward
I haven't given much thought to what I want as a reward for attaining my goal maintenance weight in June. After giving it some thought, I'm back to an original goal I had when I was at maintenance before. I don't like how my thighs carry extra fat. Before I had to try to keep my weight at 102 to get my legs the way I wanted them. The weight was way to difficult to keep and I got a lot of comments about looking too thin. I don't want that gaunt look.
I want to have lipo done after I stablize at my weight. Dick and I talked about it again today. As I already know, I need to be at my goal weight for 6 months before I can consider it. I've known since the day I met Dr. Gelman that he would be my surgeon. I told Robert today. He seemed a little quiet about it. I think he thought he'd be looking at surgery himself and his weight isn't down. And now I'm talking about it.
Reaching my goal weight by June and staying there for 6 months, would put me at December for surgery. But I think I would want to wait until after the holidays. Dick mentioned $5,000 as a cost, that freaks me out a bit. I don't know where we'll get that kind of money. However, I don't want to let that keep me from focusing and aiming for my goals.
After seeing what Kathi is going through right now, makes me a little nervous about what I might really be signing up for with lipo. I just can't think about that right now. I just need to focus on getting to my goal weight.
I want to have lipo done after I stablize at my weight. Dick and I talked about it again today. As I already know, I need to be at my goal weight for 6 months before I can consider it. I've known since the day I met Dr. Gelman that he would be my surgeon. I told Robert today. He seemed a little quiet about it. I think he thought he'd be looking at surgery himself and his weight isn't down. And now I'm talking about it.
Reaching my goal weight by June and staying there for 6 months, would put me at December for surgery. But I think I would want to wait until after the holidays. Dick mentioned $5,000 as a cost, that freaks me out a bit. I don't know where we'll get that kind of money. However, I don't want to let that keep me from focusing and aiming for my goals.
After seeing what Kathi is going through right now, makes me a little nervous about what I might really be signing up for with lipo. I just can't think about that right now. I just need to focus on getting to my goal weight.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
A New Decade
I weighed in at 119 lbs this morning. It's been a long time since I've been at this place. Now I'm going to focus on 114 lbs. I'm doing cardio everyday, getting my butterfly stickers on my calendar. I'll post a new photo when I'm at 114.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My Countdown Chart
I liked Kathi's countdown for her surgery. So, with a few tips from her, I was able to get the countdown set up for my weight loss goal. I was at my lowest today, 119 1/2 lbs. Also a new decade for me. Then I went off my food plan at lunch. I'm pressing the "restart" button and moving forward. I hope the cheat doesn't affect my weigh in tomorrow to start off Week 14.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Countdown Begins!
I've discovered Facebook for myself yesterday. Very addictive! I have hooked up with Julie again, which is really nice. It should be interesting to see where this goes!
I posted my weigh loss goals on my Facebook wall. I have 15 pounds to lose. I'm at 120 1/4 lbs. right now and my goal weight is 105 lbs. at home. I'm currently in week 15 on my time line. Monday will start week 14. My goal date is June 1. I am doing cardio for 20 minutes 7 days a week. My food plan and work outs are right on target, but the weight just wasn't coming off. So hopefully adding the cardio will give it the push it needs to start coming off again. I feel confident that I can do everything that is required to get this weight off. This time when I get to maintenance I will need to be much more vigilant at holding my line.
Dick is going to step up the game in my work outs. He's increasing the weight and we'll be adding squats. I'm excited about it (that's almost scary to hear myself say! Lol!). I feel like I have Dick's attention now that I'm back on track. I'm looking forward to taking the next 5 lbs. off. I'm hoping I'll be able to actually see and feel it in my clothes.
I posted my weigh loss goals on my Facebook wall. I have 15 pounds to lose. I'm at 120 1/4 lbs. right now and my goal weight is 105 lbs. at home. I'm currently in week 15 on my time line. Monday will start week 14. My goal date is June 1. I am doing cardio for 20 minutes 7 days a week. My food plan and work outs are right on target, but the weight just wasn't coming off. So hopefully adding the cardio will give it the push it needs to start coming off again. I feel confident that I can do everything that is required to get this weight off. This time when I get to maintenance I will need to be much more vigilant at holding my line.
Dick is going to step up the game in my work outs. He's increasing the weight and we'll be adding squats. I'm excited about it (that's almost scary to hear myself say! Lol!). I feel like I have Dick's attention now that I'm back on track. I'm looking forward to taking the next 5 lbs. off. I'm hoping I'll be able to actually see and feel it in my clothes.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Upping The Ante
I have finally moved out of the 121s, after 9 frustrating days. I did go out for a reward lunch for staying on the food plan (though not perfectly) since Dec. 31, 2008. I don't usually let myself actually have the rewards I say I'm going to give myself for attaining certain goals. It was important to me to follow through with this reward and not let myself down.
My trainer rated my food plan & work outs highly. So, the only place left to make changes is to up the cardio. I had started doing 2 days a week for 20 mins. That got upped to 7 days a week. I was disappointed when the gym closed before I got there last night. I thought it would be open until 6 or 7 pm on Saturdays. It closed early at 5 pm. I found out today that the gym is usually open until 6 pm on Saturday. It is important for me to get the exact hours the gym is open for later reference. Live and learn. I did get in there today and got my 20 mins. in. That felt really good and I made sure to acknowledge myself for it. Since the cardio was upped, my weight has already come down into the 120s. I'm thrilled.
Since about the time I started doing the daily cardio, I decided to allow myself one Monster energy drink a day. So, I've done this for about 3 or 4 days now. Of course, this is totally off of my program right now. Somehow I justified to myself that the extra cardio would fix everything and would give me more freedom to eat or drink what I wanted. Well, I'm back on track and tomorrow is a fresh start.
So, here's to a losing weight this coming week!
My trainer rated my food plan & work outs highly. So, the only place left to make changes is to up the cardio. I had started doing 2 days a week for 20 mins. That got upped to 7 days a week. I was disappointed when the gym closed before I got there last night. I thought it would be open until 6 or 7 pm on Saturdays. It closed early at 5 pm. I found out today that the gym is usually open until 6 pm on Saturday. It is important for me to get the exact hours the gym is open for later reference. Live and learn. I did get in there today and got my 20 mins. in. That felt really good and I made sure to acknowledge myself for it. Since the cardio was upped, my weight has already come down into the 120s. I'm thrilled.
Since about the time I started doing the daily cardio, I decided to allow myself one Monster energy drink a day. So, I've done this for about 3 or 4 days now. Of course, this is totally off of my program right now. Somehow I justified to myself that the extra cardio would fix everything and would give me more freedom to eat or drink what I wanted. Well, I'm back on track and tomorrow is a fresh start.
So, here's to a losing weight this coming week!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Poised For Success
What a lot of meaning that title has for me. I believe I'm poised for my own success while looking at an organization by the same name. Poised For Success is an organization that helps women on welfare find business clothing that will allow them to go on interviews and work at a job dressed appropriately. The business clothing are all donations.
The orientation was very interesting last night and I realized on the way home that I was excited about working with them. Their facility is set up like a small boutique. Very orderly and had a bit of a sophisticated feel for a place that's non profit. There were different rooms for different purposes, all very clearly laid out by size and color. The first room was where the interviewing business suits are picked out. They receive one or two suits. There is a room for selecting an additional three outfits after they've gotten the job. A room with blouses and accessories, like handbags, belts, jewelry, scarves displayed beautifully. Then a room with shoes.
I was particularly drawn towards inventory management and client services, although I have to admit I was a bit nervous because I don't have retail experience. Inventory management takes place every Wed. from 10am - 6pm. This is when the clothes are at their second check point. They are checked for quality, the shape they're in and whether they're business appropriate. They're sorted, tagged and put away. The women sit at a table in the back of the building and sort. I thought this would be a good opportunity to meet other women and touch & be around clothes.
Client services involves meeting one on one with the client. The client's ages usually range from late 20s to early 30s. This is where the outfits are selected and coordinated with accessories. The important part here is how the women are treated, they are usually broken at this point. It's important to talk with them about their children, what kind of job they're looking for and what they're interested in. Looking to build them up. Being new to this, they would have me shadow someone until I'm comfortable.
Gail Fisher, from Poised For Success, already called and left me a message thanking me for coming to the orientation and letting me know she'd email about setting up times to come in. I am really excited to see how this plays out in my life. I feel I would love being a part of this. I also like that you can do as little or as much as you want. A perfect starting place!
The orientation was very interesting last night and I realized on the way home that I was excited about working with them. Their facility is set up like a small boutique. Very orderly and had a bit of a sophisticated feel for a place that's non profit. There were different rooms for different purposes, all very clearly laid out by size and color. The first room was where the interviewing business suits are picked out. They receive one or two suits. There is a room for selecting an additional three outfits after they've gotten the job. A room with blouses and accessories, like handbags, belts, jewelry, scarves displayed beautifully. Then a room with shoes.
I was particularly drawn towards inventory management and client services, although I have to admit I was a bit nervous because I don't have retail experience. Inventory management takes place every Wed. from 10am - 6pm. This is when the clothes are at their second check point. They are checked for quality, the shape they're in and whether they're business appropriate. They're sorted, tagged and put away. The women sit at a table in the back of the building and sort. I thought this would be a good opportunity to meet other women and touch & be around clothes.
Client services involves meeting one on one with the client. The client's ages usually range from late 20s to early 30s. This is where the outfits are selected and coordinated with accessories. The important part here is how the women are treated, they are usually broken at this point. It's important to talk with them about their children, what kind of job they're looking for and what they're interested in. Looking to build them up. Being new to this, they would have me shadow someone until I'm comfortable.
Gail Fisher, from Poised For Success, already called and left me a message thanking me for coming to the orientation and letting me know she'd email about setting up times to come in. I am really excited to see how this plays out in my life. I feel I would love being a part of this. I also like that you can do as little or as much as you want. A perfect starting place!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
In Retrospect
I feel fortunate to have a day to myself, no specific plans and nowhere I have to be. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do with the day. I've been especially tired lately, taking naps in the afternoon. I don't particularly like that.
Last week was good, but also quite tough. On Monday, the CYL group focused on intuition, the voice of God, which was probably my favorite chapter so far in the book.
Thursday I had a very blunt conversation with Robert about whether he was interested in being in the marriage anymore. Cried my way through dinner, at a restaurant. Based on how unhappy I am, he wasn't sure about what he wanted to do and wanted time to think about it. After getting through a silent, uncomfortable dinner, he still drove to Hobo's where we had originally agreed to go after dinner. During the drive and time at Hobo's we started to find a common ground we could start to move forward from. I was exhausted from this for the rest of the week.
Saturday we went out to have dinner with Derek. We went to Red Lobster because I wanted to stay with fish or seafood to keep on my food plan as much as possible. We had a nice visit and I split a grilled shrimp, scallop and chicken sampler with Robert which worked out well
Sunday evening was the Super Bowl at Kathy's. I brought tuna salad and croissants, so I'd have something to eat. It was a hit. There were potato chips, Rice Krispies treats and freshly made brownies. Man, sometimes staying on this food plan can be a struggle.
I put on only 1 pound after the weekend was over. I've been working this week to get it back off. I know it put me behind in my weight loss for February, but things are going to come up that will require making the best choices possible in the situation.
Last week was good, but also quite tough. On Monday, the CYL group focused on intuition, the voice of God, which was probably my favorite chapter so far in the book.
Thursday I had a very blunt conversation with Robert about whether he was interested in being in the marriage anymore. Cried my way through dinner, at a restaurant. Based on how unhappy I am, he wasn't sure about what he wanted to do and wanted time to think about it. After getting through a silent, uncomfortable dinner, he still drove to Hobo's where we had originally agreed to go after dinner. During the drive and time at Hobo's we started to find a common ground we could start to move forward from. I was exhausted from this for the rest of the week.
Saturday we went out to have dinner with Derek. We went to Red Lobster because I wanted to stay with fish or seafood to keep on my food plan as much as possible. We had a nice visit and I split a grilled shrimp, scallop and chicken sampler with Robert which worked out well
Sunday evening was the Super Bowl at Kathy's. I brought tuna salad and croissants, so I'd have something to eat. It was a hit. There were potato chips, Rice Krispies treats and freshly made brownies. Man, sometimes staying on this food plan can be a struggle.
I put on only 1 pound after the weekend was over. I've been working this week to get it back off. I know it put me behind in my weight loss for February, but things are going to come up that will require making the best choices possible in the situation.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A Jump Forward
I am celebrating being at 123 1/4 lbs. this morning. I have been hovering around 125/126 for a while. I have really stayed tight on my food plan since my talk with Dick on Tuesday. The Monsters & Crystal Light have been taken out. I'm very focused.
It feels so good to see this progress. I now feel like 119 lbs. is in my very near future. Woo hoo! Here I go!
I am meeting with Lisa and Kathy today to talk about changing their food plans and weight loss. I am looking forward to sharing what I know with them. I hope it encourages them to move forward in their own weight loss journeys. I will be advising them to have weight loss buddies, to have a carb-free, protein based food plan, to write out that plan using fitday.com and adding cardio a little at a time.
Well, I'm going to go get ready to head out there...
It feels so good to see this progress. I now feel like 119 lbs. is in my very near future. Woo hoo! Here I go!
I am meeting with Lisa and Kathy today to talk about changing their food plans and weight loss. I am looking forward to sharing what I know with them. I hope it encourages them to move forward in their own weight loss journeys. I will be advising them to have weight loss buddies, to have a carb-free, protein based food plan, to write out that plan using fitday.com and adding cardio a little at a time.
Well, I'm going to go get ready to head out there...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Putting On My Big, Bad Boots
I'm taking it up a notch! My Tuesday work out with Dick really helped me put things in perspective. I'm on a roll and must take advantage of it. I could see my weight was wobbling a bit and was concerned. I laid everything out for Dick. Exactly what I'm eating and drinking. My eating plan is right on. But there's tweaking to do with the drinks. So the Monsters and Crystal Light are out. I can have 2 cups of coffee a day and water. I checked my calories on my Dunkin Donuts coffee with creamer. The creamer is way too high. I have to switch to skim milk.
I don't know how long my energy and motivation will hold out, so I've got to run this down hard. I want to get to my goal weight as soon as possible. I am doing this!!
I'm putting on those bad ass boots and I'm nailing this!
I don't know how long my energy and motivation will hold out, so I've got to run this down hard. I want to get to my goal weight as soon as possible. I am doing this!!
I'm putting on those bad ass boots and I'm nailing this!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Good Grief?
Today I had the pleasure of meeting with Sue. I love meeting with her. Even though it was a cold winter afternoon, I was able to sit in the sun, in the chair by the bay window and drink chamomile tea. The discussion seemed to keep coming back around to grieving. I found I haven't fully grieved the loss of Leanne. The relationship with her has also shifted from an intimate friendship, to one where she wants to include Rachel as part of our visits or calls. I began feeling jealous of Rachel and hurt by Leanne. But I have more peace around that now. They are entitled to have their own friendship. I can be clear however about how I need to move forward, continuing an intimate friendship. I know I didn't want to feel her loss and my new found & dear friendship with Kathi quickly filled the loss I wanted to avoid. The idea of possibly losing Kathi has sparked a certain sadness in me and has also made me revisit my loss of Leanne. I miss her terribly. I'm going to allow myself the time I need to feel the grief of missing Leanne, a friend I love.
Then there's the realization of Jasmine getting older. I wanted to avoid that inevitable grieve by getting a puppy and diverting my attention. Yet, when I really stop and think about my dear puppy, I realize I don't want her to be bothered by a puppy when she's going to need more quiet and attention. I want to be there for her. Letting myself go through the journey we have ahead of us. Allowing myself to feel the pain when it comes and go through it.
Sue & I talked about how God also grieves more deeply than we can even imagine. It comes from love. When there is brokenness, separation, death...these are from the old life and will not continue into our new life in Him. God will walk through my grief and pain with me. It is a walk through the valley of the shadow of death...not a place to stay or be stuck. With Him by my side I will get through it.
Then there's the realization of Jasmine getting older. I wanted to avoid that inevitable grieve by getting a puppy and diverting my attention. Yet, when I really stop and think about my dear puppy, I realize I don't want her to be bothered by a puppy when she's going to need more quiet and attention. I want to be there for her. Letting myself go through the journey we have ahead of us. Allowing myself to feel the pain when it comes and go through it.
Sue & I talked about how God also grieves more deeply than we can even imagine. It comes from love. When there is brokenness, separation, death...these are from the old life and will not continue into our new life in Him. God will walk through my grief and pain with me. It is a walk through the valley of the shadow of death...not a place to stay or be stuck. With Him by my side I will get through it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A Sad Thought
I feel a little sadness today. Kathi texted me that Paul is having a 2nd interview at the end of the month in Pittsburg. I know this is a job he's really qualified for and I want the best for them. But this would make me so sad.
I want to express how I'm feeling so I can keep this in perspective. I realize that I don't know the outcome yet and there is a wait ahead of me (and Kathi). I just really love having her as a friend and would miss having her close. I really enjoy spending time with her. I know we could continue to text every day and keep our communication up. Keeping our weight and food plans in line. But I would miss her.
So, today I grieve a little at the possibility. However, now I must set this aside and wait patiently to see how this actually unfolds.
I want to express how I'm feeling so I can keep this in perspective. I realize that I don't know the outcome yet and there is a wait ahead of me (and Kathi). I just really love having her as a friend and would miss having her close. I really enjoy spending time with her. I know we could continue to text every day and keep our communication up. Keeping our weight and food plans in line. But I would miss her.
So, today I grieve a little at the possibility. However, now I must set this aside and wait patiently to see how this actually unfolds.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Life Log - Reflections on the Week
I have accomplished one full week of filling out my life log. What a discovery it was! At the end of the week, I went back over the log. I highlighted in different colors all the places throughout the week that I found myself doing any of my five commitments. The days were filled with highlights. I am currently very active in my commitments.
I will continue filling out my life log for another week. I am curious to see how the week will go using my commitments to make decisions this week. Some of the commitments did not show up highlighted on the log. For example: living out of joy & being kind to myself. As I want to log these moments or thoughts. I am going to carry a notebook, in addition to the life log, for a week just to note these.
I came to an interesting conclusion after doing CYL (the chapter is on commitments). Some of the commitments may not take up time on the life log, so time is not the way I want to place value on them. I want to look for action being taken. When appropriate I can look for results. I am holding that if there is a change in how I think about something, it is an action that may effect my behavior.
"Being true to your commitments guarantees you will have internal balance." (Rhonda Britten). I would add that being true to my commitments brings peace.
I will continue filling out my life log for another week. I am curious to see how the week will go using my commitments to make decisions this week. Some of the commitments did not show up highlighted on the log. For example: living out of joy & being kind to myself. As I want to log these moments or thoughts. I am going to carry a notebook, in addition to the life log, for a week just to note these.
I came to an interesting conclusion after doing CYL (the chapter is on commitments). Some of the commitments may not take up time on the life log, so time is not the way I want to place value on them. I want to look for action being taken. When appropriate I can look for results. I am holding that if there is a change in how I think about something, it is an action that may effect my behavior.
"Being true to your commitments guarantees you will have internal balance." (Rhonda Britten). I would add that being true to my commitments brings peace.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Commitments 2009
I have completed my commitments for this year. I had to redirect my focus to use these commitments as decision-making criteria. I feel these will enhance my life and also make a radical difference in my life.
Commitments for 2009:
1. Coming from a place of love in my relationships.
2. Living out of gratitude and joy.
3. Being at a healthy weight.
4. Being active in learning new things.
5. Being kind to myself.
Commitments for 2009:
1. Coming from a place of love in my relationships.
2. Living out of gratitude and joy.
3. Being at a healthy weight.
4. Being active in learning new things.
5. Being kind to myself.
Friday, January 9, 2009
What's going on?
It's a Friday night. I've got CYL in front of me to do and I just sit here. I feel like I've just stopped. I feel like I shut down a day or two ago. I have no desire to look at my commitments. No desire to do CYL. I feel tired. Are my commitments too long and now feel overwhelming? I haven't felt like posting them or complete the plan on how to achieve them. I don't know exactly what's going on.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Commitments for 2009 - progress
I am pleased that my commitments are now written out. I am now working on determining the steps I will take to achieve them. I have finished one section of steps and have written them into my CJ as part of my weekly plan.
I have really enjoyed writing and planning out these commitments. I'm looking forward to continuing to work on them. They will build a foundation for how I will move forward this year. I'm excited about what is going on right now in my life and what lies ahead.
I will post my commitments when I have them finished. But know this, the foundation of my life is my God. I am excited to see where He leads me this year.
I have really enjoyed writing and planning out these commitments. I'm looking forward to continuing to work on them. They will build a foundation for how I will move forward this year. I'm excited about what is going on right now in my life and what lies ahead.
I will post my commitments when I have them finished. But know this, the foundation of my life is my God. I am excited to see where He leads me this year.
Jasmine
Yesterday was a rough day. Jasmine is 11 yo and hasn't felt well the last few months. We narrowed down that she had an infected canine tooth (the infection went into the sinus cavity). She's had a runny nose the last couple of months. A little over a month ago she started throwing up about 3 mornings a week. During the dental surgery, Dr. Juriga asked if he could do a stomach scope to see what's going on with her stomach.
The surgery resulted in two teeth pulled, the infected area cleaned out and a stomach scope. Quite a few biopsies were taken from various areas of her stomach. Her stomach is very inflamed. She has Inflamed Bowel Disease (IBD). The lab work will be back in 3-5 days which will determine if her case is mild, medium or severe.
I'm glad to finally know what she has. I've been concerned about her the last few months. She went from a playful puppy to not feeling well. Unable to eat her normal food (tooth), vomiting and some stomach upset. She was not her normal self. Yesterday I worried that they would find a tumor while doing the scope. Robert & I have talked over these past weeks about whether she might have cancer.
I've had to come to terms with the fact that she's getting older. This will be a process to go through too. A journey of sorts... I felt like I was grieving some yesterday. I know she'll bounce back from the tooth infection and the IBD is manageable. However, I have precious time with her now. And I'll be there for her as time moves forward.
The surgery resulted in two teeth pulled, the infected area cleaned out and a stomach scope. Quite a few biopsies were taken from various areas of her stomach. Her stomach is very inflamed. She has Inflamed Bowel Disease (IBD). The lab work will be back in 3-5 days which will determine if her case is mild, medium or severe.
I'm glad to finally know what she has. I've been concerned about her the last few months. She went from a playful puppy to not feeling well. Unable to eat her normal food (tooth), vomiting and some stomach upset. She was not her normal self. Yesterday I worried that they would find a tumor while doing the scope. Robert & I have talked over these past weeks about whether she might have cancer.
I've had to come to terms with the fact that she's getting older. This will be a process to go through too. A journey of sorts... I felt like I was grieving some yesterday. I know she'll bounce back from the tooth infection and the IBD is manageable. However, I have precious time with her now. And I'll be there for her as time moves forward.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Leisurely Sunday...
I am thoroughly enjoying my morning. I have a list of about 6 things to do today. But I also feel like I have the freedom to create my day as I go.
My weight loss is coming along nicely. My food is planned in advance for each day and I'm sticking to the plan. I'm anxious to see what my weight will be at the end of January. I'm just going to go month by month and see where I end up. So far I've lost 2 3/4 lbs. since Dec. 31. It is my commitment to make my work outs for the month of January. I want to see smiley heart stickers on my calendar showing I made each one! :)
Today I will begin to do my life log for CYL. I will be looking at where I am fitting in the commitments I have in my life. I think I'll do the log until next Monday for our meeting.
My weight loss is coming along nicely. My food is planned in advance for each day and I'm sticking to the plan. I'm anxious to see what my weight will be at the end of January. I'm just going to go month by month and see where I end up. So far I've lost 2 3/4 lbs. since Dec. 31. It is my commitment to make my work outs for the month of January. I want to see smiley heart stickers on my calendar showing I made each one! :)
Today I will begin to do my life log for CYL. I will be looking at where I am fitting in the commitments I have in my life. I think I'll do the log until next Monday for our meeting.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Saturday
As I am currently looking at my commitments for 2009. I realize that my relationship and love for and through my God, Jesus & Holy Spirit are number one in my life. Which lead me back to the book "The Shack". I started reading last night, beginning at where Mack arrives at the shack. I am thrilled with what I'm experiencing again as I read it. My eyes are opened at what a precious way it is to be in relationship with my Papa, Jesus & Sarayu. This is truly where life begins...and my journey is based on it.
Tonight we watched the movie "The Bucket List". Very timely. What are the things that I want to do or see in my lifetime?
Tonight we watched the movie "The Bucket List". Very timely. What are the things that I want to do or see in my lifetime?
Friday, January 2, 2009
Friday at home
I've been enjoying my day. Planning today and next week. I'm looking at my commitments for 2009. CYL is focusing on that as a topic too. How fitting.
My main commitment to begin the year is to get back to 104 lbs. at home. I have a very solid plan and support. I'm excited about it and feeling focused. I'm keeping to one eating plan and have committed to it with Kathi. I'll keep to this plan until I'm back at my goal weight. Thank goodness I have her as a support. I'm down 10 lbs. over last year. So I've got a start. I'm hoping to have my first 10 lbs. off by the end of January. That's 2 lbs. a week over a 5 week month. That's doable.
I'll be listing my commitments as I work on them, along with a plan to get there. Then I will set up a way to track my progress. I'm going to focus on my commitments with my CYL group. The journey begins.
I received the community college spring schedule today. I have found 3 one-day classes in beauty & fashion that I'm going to register to take! I've got to keep on opening doors.
My main commitment to begin the year is to get back to 104 lbs. at home. I have a very solid plan and support. I'm excited about it and feeling focused. I'm keeping to one eating plan and have committed to it with Kathi. I'll keep to this plan until I'm back at my goal weight. Thank goodness I have her as a support. I'm down 10 lbs. over last year. So I've got a start. I'm hoping to have my first 10 lbs. off by the end of January. That's 2 lbs. a week over a 5 week month. That's doable.
I'll be listing my commitments as I work on them, along with a plan to get there. Then I will set up a way to track my progress. I'm going to focus on my commitments with my CYL group. The journey begins.
I received the community college spring schedule today. I have found 3 one-day classes in beauty & fashion that I'm going to register to take! I've got to keep on opening doors.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
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