An Eye Opener

I am struggling a bit to change my way of thinking this morning. I looked up my basal metabolic rate (metabolism) and found it to be 1244. With Kathi's help, I found out I need to burn 250 calories a day to lose a pound a week. My current 20 min. cardio on the treadmill burns about 100 calories and I'd lose a pound in 10 days.

If I want to speed things up I really need to increase my activity. I can't go lower than my 1000 calories or body will go into starvation mode. The positive side of this: I have options & can ease into it. The negative side: I'm feeling some self-pity. I don't like cardio and this is where I need to focus my increased effort if I want to see change faster. Part of me wants to say "Why does this have to be so hard"? I know I've just come off of two weeks of not eating well. So, the scale is up. But I need to remember that a few good days under my belt will make a huge difference.

I am going to increase my cardio to 30 mins. and increase my heart rate by 2. Then I'll see what kind of difference that makes in my calories burned.

I need to add additional activity. Whether that's everyday or a few days a week. That's where I want to be more creative. I don't love doing the cardio at the gym on the treadmill, but it's an easy choice and weather doesn't effect the work out. I can go for a walk after dinner in the evenings or a bike ride. What really interests me is bike riding on the prairie path. Kathi reminded me that it could still be a choice even though I'm not near the path. I could even go with someone, although I do love going alone too. I'm a little leary about being on the path alone. I never really had that when I was biking before. I have heard stories about rape on the path, and it makes wearing headphones more dangerous because you don't know what's going on around you.

My bike is in good shape, except I don't like the ride of the tires. They've warped from sitting. I don't have a bike rack and I think I'm missing the key to the bike lock. I don't have a pack to put my food in. Even if I can get into riding around the neighborhood, that will be a start. I'd better start researching the southern portion of the prairie path to see if I can find a better location to start from than Wheaton. Parking is always an issue. Here I go trying to open this door again!

Countdown: Week 11

Yesterday wasn't a good day starting out Week 11. I did well all day, then ate 3 small bags of raspberry shortbread cookies that I found in Robert's stash. I was on the hunt looking for something sweet to eat...and I guess you could say I was successful. :(

Today is a new day. I've decided to make cheesy eggs for dinner tonight and see how I do this evening. Maybe that will feel more substantial. I'm at 119 1/2 lbs. today and my plan is to get down to 117 again as soon as possible. Then I need to make the push to 114/115.

I'm reminding myself not to be discouraged because I planned to have the cheat on Saturday night with the Walters, knowing full well that I would need to work this week to get it back off. So, there is no reason to be depressed (that's what I'm wanting to do). Just get back on course and get this weight off!

Pressing Restart Again

Last night was a wonderful evening out with Todd and Nicole. Meson Sabika for spanish tapas, then back to the house for yulelog cake and french pastries. I went all out, there was no holding me back from the meal or desserts. It was very nice to hear both Todd and Nicole comment on how I've lost weight and am looking good.

Today I find myself 2 3/4 lbs. up in weight. It will probably take me another week to get this off. I had finally gotten the extra weight off from last weekend when Derek was out. However, I don't feel any regret. I really enjoyed and celebrated being with friends. This was the first invitation I've made since Derek's graduation party. We've usually thrown a birthday party that lasted about 2 hours with family. It was empowering to have a couple of friends over. I'd like to begin doing this a little more often.

I'm back on my food plan today, although I did want to see if there were any m&m cookies left out in the garage. I didn't actually check and will stay on plan the rest of the day.

Just as a note, Friday was girl's night at Rachel's. Rachel and Kathy both commented on good I was looking. Rachel mentioned that she was inspired by how I'm looking.

I have had two compliments from people I don't know about how I've been looking up until this point. It is rewarding and inspires me to continue to lose the rest of the weight now that it is becoming more visible. I am continually encouraged by Kathi, who is my rock. She has been at my side throughout the weight loss and there's still more to take off. Thank you Kathi!

Soul Talk

I met with Sue yesterday. I told Sue that my music hasn't seemed like it's filling me up as much now. It's as though I'm used to the songs and they're just playing in the background. I feel a little out of touch with God. I know He hasn't gone anywhere and that life has just seemed to be going along. I'm not reading the Bible and haven't picked up the Shack to reread it.

I'm at kind of a stand still. Sue quoted a verse that loosely said sometimes it's not in the past but what's coming that's new. God knows when to interject something new to help us not get caught up in monotony or routine. I now have curiosity around this. It is an exciting question. Where will I find God that will be new? My meeting with Sue has helped to remind me that God is here and now.

My number one commitment for 2009 is love. Love for and from my God, for family and friends, acquaintances and also those I haven't met yet. The excitement is where the love will be evident...in the very simplest of things.

I also spoke to Sue about having more soul talks in my life. But I felt it was too early for me to delve into the book Soul Talk. I set that book aside because of how raw it is. I'm not quite ready for that yet.

I am wanting love. From the love that comes from my life I will strengthen my faith and hope. I'll also be able to share that with others.

My Progress In Week 12

I didn't have a great start coming into Week 12. Monday being my weigh in day...the start of my week. I had come off of a bad weekend. I ate off program Friday through Sunday. I somehow give myself permission to eat whatever I want when Derek is out. Having no meals planned, we went out to eat for almost every meal. Next month when Derek visits, I have already planned meals to make and have in the house for the entire weekend. A much better plan.

I gained 5 lbs. in those 3 days. It's Thursday and I still have a little less than a lb. to go. Then I will be back where I was before the weekend blow out. This equals a wasted week, putting on and taking off that extra weight! I will be happy with any weight loss I show this coming Monday. I've been holding the diet tight since Monday so I'm confident there will be a loss.

The work outs and cardio have also suffered this week. Since last Tuesday I've been dealing with different sorts of stomach problems. Today I ran for the Mylanta, now that everything's handled, I just have to kick this headache and the cramps & stomach churning that is the aftermath of Mylanta. I hope to feel like myself by this evening. I've got broccoli back in the house and Fiber Blend. Now to get back into the routine.

Week 13 of the Countdown

Mondays begin the new week for the countdown...and here we are. I'm beginning Week 13 and am pleased with my weight this morning. I came in at 118 3/4 lbs., which is down 1 1/4 lbs. from last Monday.

Here's to another good week!

Twilight

I'm excited to start to read Twilight by Stephenie Meyers. It's part of a vampire series that has 4 books to the series right now. It looks nice and long!

Revisiting Commitments

I have the sense that I'm just going along. I noticed today that I'm just listening to my Christian music, but I'm not being moved by it. It's like wearing colored glasses that don't let me look clearly at what is going on around me. A bit of a disconnect from "out there", except for my weight, food, work outs and cardio. I haven't felt this way all week, just this weekend. I've had a lot of alone time, perhaps too much.

I have had no desire to do the chapter "Momentum" in CYL. However, I do keep my commitment notes in there, so I pulled it out. The commitments I laid out for this year do remind me of what I'd like to put my focus on.

1. Coming from a place of love in my relationships.

-I would like to get back to learning about God's love in my life. I see Sue next week, that is
always a pleasure and learning experience. Returning to reading in God's Word and/or The Shack also sounds refreshing.
-I would like to focus on loving myself 1) through grace and forgiveness, 2) remembering that I am not perfect and 3) also not comparing myself, rather accepting myself just as I am.
-I would also like to look at getting together with Mom & Dad, Rachel and Kathy soon.
-I reached out yesterday to Janine at the gym. I don't know where this may lead, but I feel
good about it.

Well, I'm getting tired. I think this will be enough for now. As this is my number one commitment. I'd just like to focus on this one along with my weight loss.